Being an Intuitive Mom is Not So Easy….

This past week has been an upheaval of emotions, lessons and stress for me and my son, Adam.  He came home from school sick on Wednesday afternoon with food poisoning symptoms and did not recover as quickly as we’d anticipated.  So a trip to the doctor was in order.  Friday morning he woke up in severe pain with most of it radiating on the right side of his abdomen where his appendix is located.  All his other symptoms were in line to point to this diagnosis as well, and I wanted some answers.  Off to Urgent Care we went.

I’d been giving Adam healing treatments, Reiki, and checking in with my guides along the way.  But when that “Mom” gene takes over, it is very difficult to get a clear read, especially when your own child is in pain.  All you want it to do is stop.  All you want is to see that little face smile and hear a familiar giggle or two.

We arrived at Urgent Care right when they opened but we still had many people in front of us.  A short time later we were escorted back to the triage room where Adam’s vitals were taken.  I was shocked to learn he’d lost 3.5 pounds in a just a few short days.  Off to the exam room we went.

The doctor was thorough and kind.  He examined Adam’s belly and my poor baby winced every time he was pushed and prodded.  Tests were ordered, including a blood work up to see where his stats were.  We completed a few of the other tests and soon a nurse came into the room to administer the blood test as well as start an IV, as Adam was quite dehydrated.

Once Adam knew that his blood was going to be taken, he began to panic.  Typical kid, right?  Heck…who am I kidding?  Typical pretty much anybody!  The nurse had difficulty starting a line in because Adam was dehydrated and so after poking him twice, she stopped.  She said we would just go do the x-rays and that she’d give him some time to calm down.  Thinking we had a short break, Adam began to calm down and he started to relax.  I began to work with his energy to release any false beliefs held in fear, an exercise Adam is comfortable with and knows very well.

Then a male nurse came into his room.  He was accompanied by the first female nurse who had tried to take Adam’s blood and start the IV the first time.  He said they were going to try again, because the test was very important.  There was a distinct possibility of Adam having to go to the Children’s ER and we would know more based on a blood test.

Adam’s reaction to this male nurse was not typical.  Even before he announced that he was going to take blood, Adam was cringing at the sight of him.  My son is very sociable and friendly, so I was taken back from his reaction but could not concentrate on it or read into it as I knew what else was going to happen – the blood draw.  Adam began to tense up and squirm as the two nurses held his arm and felt for a vein.  The first time they tried, Adam moved his elbow and the vein shifted so they were unsuccessful.  He cried and I tried my best to distract him and have him concentrate on me.

The medical team then moved to the back of Adam’s hand to try again.  He looked at the male nurse and said, “You’re not putting that needle in me.  Not this time.” The male nurse ignored him, and began telling me how unwilling Adam was to cooperate.  I still tried to calm my baby.  I watched as the nurse got the needle under the skin, missed the vein and began to move the needle around under the skin trying to nick a portion of it to start the blood flow.  With each movement of that needle, Adam became more enraged.  It seemed like it went on for minutes, but I’m sure it was finished sooner than that.  The male nurse removed the needle and declared that Adam had flattened his veins because he was so much in fear.  The nurse said that Adam’s “fight or flight” reflex had kicked in, and all the blood from his arms and legs was drawing into the core of his body for protection.

We were soon sent to get x-rays, and as I stood outside the room, I began to see a hologram began to take shape in front of me.  Suddenly I saw a scene play out.  This happens quite frequently when I tap into someone’s past life history.  I don’t know why it presents this way, or why I seem to be able to see this, it just IS this way.

The scene showed a young G.I. in military garb with a helmet on being taken into a room forcibly.  He was fighting the entire time as two men strapped him down on a table, taking his helmet off after he was secured.  As I stared at his face, I saw an energy that was so familiar.  Suddenly the G.I. was staring at a larger man hovering above him who was holding something in his hands.  I looked at this man and felt the energy of the male nurse, who had tried to take Adam’s blood earlier.  I heard the young G.I.  scream, “You’re not putting that needle in me this time.  I won’t let you do it.”  I suddenly knew why that soldier’s energy seemed so familiar.  This was my son in an earlier lifetime.  He’d been tortured by this crazy doctor from the opposing side of a war.

As I began to fathom all this information that came forward, Adam finished his x-ray and we went back to the exam room.  It all made sense.  The puzzle pieces began to fit together.  Adam has had his blood taken many times, even more dehydrated than what he was, and though he was not fond of the process, he did not react this strongly or as aggressively as he did this time.  The underlying trigger of this past life remembrance obviously influenced his actions.

I felt like a failure.  How could I have this “gift” and not have seen this playing out the way it did?  Why was I unable to protect my precious son from such trauma?  As my guides began to rally around us, I wanted no part of what they had to say.  I closed myself off to their guidance and explanations.  All I wanted was relief for my son.  I spoke to the doctor about what to watch for and promised I would keep Adam hydrated at home.  I did not want them to try again to start a line of fluid for him.  We went home from there and began to push fluids, which surprisingly now he was able to keep down without any problems.

“Why does God want me to be sick, Mommy?” Adam asked as he was laying on the couch.  “Why would he let me feel pain?”  I told him that I wasn’t sure how God’s mind worked, but that I was sure he did not like Adam to be sick.  Maybe God was trying to teach him to make sure he kept drinking fluids, or maybe his body needed to be reminded of something.  Adam then began to cry, “So I caused all this?” he asked.  My heart began to break.  I assured him that it wasn’t his fault and that it was mine for not making sure he was doing what his body needed.

I struggled to find the higher purpose in all this.  I wanted an answer and I wanted a LOGICAL answer not a foo-foo shee-shee beat around the bush ascension answer.  I wanted the plain and simple truth.  When I got to a place of quiet, I asked for my guides to have a pow wow.  It seems as if the Angels were conversing among themselves as to how to answer my question.  Michael stepped forward and said:

“For you to understand the purpose of this would mean that you would have to be detached from your son.  Therefor you cannot have complete understanding.  But you can move to a place of acceptance; acceptance that you do not have all the answers, for you do not contract for the lessons of another soul.  May I remind you, Dear One, that now with the awareness of this other lifetime, you can assist Adam in healing on all levels just as you have so many others.  Do you know the weight this will lift from him in his years to come?  It is not merely the karma he has with that man, but it is the fear and sickness you can also help in clearing.  YOU have that control; the ability to be the way-shower, the tender heart of compassion and kindness through your gifts and energy of the soul that you are.  You do not have control to impead upon another’s lessons or their path for that is in direct contrast to the concept of free will.  This is not your cross to bear.  Do not take ownership of another’s lessons.  Instead of focusing on the lack and where you feel you have failed, instead see the good that can come of this situation.  You block not only your own light when you choose these negative vibrations, but you also block the light that you could be giving to others. “

His words sunk in on a deep level.  I took a deep breath and allowed them to wash over me.  I realized that I had not willingly subjected my son to this experience, but that for whatever reason I needed to accept it and move forward.  I began working with Adam’s higher self to clear the past life triggers.  It was as simple as setting an intention and it was complete.  Adam began feeling better quickly.  He bounced back with no further mention of what had happened.

I realized I could learn a lot from my son.  He is transparent.  He allows his feelings to come to the surface, not afraid to hide them.  When he expresses them, they flow through him and he moves on.  There is no harboring of negative emotion.  There is just light.  Plain and simple.

I am blessed with the most amazing teacher in my life.  Thank you, Adam.  Being a mom who can see into other realms and pick up on energies isn’t easy, but you sure make it all worth it.