A title caught my attention as I was looking for something to watch on tv – “I Am Dying,” was the title of a one hour time slot documentary on NatGeo. Not the typical comedy or history driven program I am usually geared towards, but I was drawn nonetheless.
The feature is all about Renee, a young woman who is diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s about her life, her passions, her accomplishments, her struggles and eventually her death. It’s about not only Renee’s experiences, but also those of her family, her friends and her caregivers.
This is a powerful journey I highly recommend you witness on your own. Cancer in our society is portrayed in many ways and by numerous definitions. There is the big pharma and western medicine view, the Hollywood movie drama, the karmic or religious standpoint, and yet unless you’ve lived through it, whether it be your own health crisis or that of someone you love, no portrayal ever really touches on all aspects of cancer. Not until this movie.
NatGeo, Joaquin Phoenix, Casey Affleck and the film’s directors have put together a compassionate reality of what Renee experienced. This powerful film shows the life changing choices we have to make, both as stewards of our own health care, and as caregivers of our loved ones.
It’s REAL. It’s GRIPPING. It’s the closest thing I’ve seen placed on film that fully describes what day to day life is like for someone in Renee’s particular situation. You will see her daily treatments, the process she goes through as her mind and body begin to shut down, and most definitely you will witness the loving care and kindness that surround her.
I’ve had the role of caregiver for loved ones in this situation and it’s not easy. I’ve watched people I love more than anything slowly wither away because of a horrid disease called cancer.
Many people shy away from dealing with those that are sick or who have been given a diagnosis such as cancer. They go into fear, they don’t understand, and it’s easier to not deal with it than to face it. I get that. It’s not simple or comfortable to see someone dealing with chemo or side affects from a sickness. It’s not pleasant. But a small effort can make a huge difference in that person’s life.
I recommend this film to all who’ve been affected by cancer, to all who wonder what REALLY goes on in the life of a terminal cancer patient, and to all who want to make a difference.
Positive change can start with YOU. Knowledge is power. If you witness someone else’s journey then you will have greater understanding. And then the next time you see someone you know who is suffering from this disease, you can see them with compassion – you can smile at them with light, and not pity. You can look them in the eye with honor and respect, no longer afraid of their diagnosis, and with understanding within your heart.
God bless Renee Heidtman and her loving family and friends for their willingness to share this courageous journey with rest of the world. Renee will be remembered for her light, strength and beautiful spirit, not a diagnosis on a medical chart.
Again, it is my distinct pleasure and honor to be with you all this evening, to feel your hearts, to be in the presence of such power, such beauty, and such spirit. It is a playground, if you will, to me, to see the joy, the peace and the love and the light that exists within you all.
For you are BRAVE, Dear Ones. You are courageous. You are one of the few in an infinite amount of souls on the other side who said yes, I volunteer to be human. I volunteer to come down to a place, a plane, this Earth, where things are dense and I will fit into this vehicle called a physical self and I will forget about home. I will allow a veil to be placed over my eyes and over my heart. And I will learn the duality of good and evil. I will learn the duality of love and hate.
But I will still choose LOVE.
And through choosing LOVE I will recognize my own light. As I vibrate at that frequency of light that veil will begin to thin. I will remember home. I will remember the soul and the strength that I am. I will remember my truth no matter who tries to dim my light. No matter who tries to tell me otherwise.
There are many trials and tribulations going on in your world now, going on all around you. And it is time, Dear Ones, for you to truly see your light and embrace it. So much fear is present in your world right now. There are those who are evil who are pushing the boundaries and limits of fear for this is what feeds them. This is what makes them feel powerful. And they will try to distract you. They will try to displace your focus and your concern.
Let me tell you Dear Ones, evil does not care what color you are, what religion you are, what your gender, your faith or your sexual preference is. Evil affects all if we allow it.
Dear Ones, where these is light there can be no darkness.
Do not feed into the fear of those who want power and control. See them for what they are. Band together as the Lightworkers that you are and create waves of light within this Earth plane and indeed within the universe. This battle has been going on for eons of time especially since the creation of planet Earth itself. Time and time again Lightworkers have won and continue to win. Light Warriors stand up tall against the darkness. I say these things to heed you, to give you warning. It is not to place fear within you, but to let you know your strength, and your power and your greatness. It is time to OWN that greatness, Dear Ones. It is time to take the leap of faith. Time to stand within that joy. To stand within the love that you were created in. To know that you are worthy. This is your birthright, Dear Ones; to live in a world of harmony and peace and joy; to be safe; to not feel threatened as you walk down a street or worry about where you may travel to.
You, yourselves, with your minds, and with your hearts can create a world of harmony. For as you shine your light brightly, as you believe in your light, as you embrace your truth and your soul, you illuminate the path for other souls themselves.
Imagine if you will, someone close to you being in a state of fear, and you illuminating your light so brightly that they remember their own. It is like a wildfire sparking and continuing on. You are fanning a flame so that others may remember their own truth and their own light.
These children that are upon this planet right now, they are old souls. Some call them crystalline, some call them indigo, some call them rainbow. These are Light Warriors, Dear Ones. Light Warriors who have been around since time began. They have been illuminating their light. They have been shining brightly so that others recognize and connect to their own spiritual truths, their own core essence of the soul they are. These children are here for reasons. Deep seeded reasons. If you think of the story of Lemurian crystals and how the people of Lemuria planted these seed crystals all over your planet to be found again, so records and memories and that history can be rediscovered – I tell you these children carry this same philosophy, have that same essence, that same meaning and reason for being here.
They are activators. For when you connect with these children, they cause you to remember WHO you are. They activate the vibration of home within you. You see their strength. You see their wisdom. And you want more of that. You want to see that within yourself. They mirror that vibration back to you, so you not only remember the childlike innocence, and playfulness and joy that is truly inside of you, but you remember the light of Home and you recognize it inside of yourself.
Treat these children well, Dear Ones. For those that are labeled autistic and ADHD are some of the most dimensionally connected humans upon your planet.
It is so important to bond together and release the judgment that you have, not only for others but most definitely about yourselves. There is a standard in which you criticize yourselves. When you belittle yourself, or when you compare your successes, or your failures, or your appearance, or your health, or your finances to someone else you are pulling your energy down. That is not a way to raise your vibration.
If you think of yourself as the God-Self that you are, would God criticize you? Would Mother/Father God come and tell you that your body is anything less than perfection? You ARE perfection, Dear Ones, absolutely. You have a beauty that exceeds any words that I could ever come up with. That beauty is not just within your physicality, it is within your light, your heart, compassion, your understanding, the way that you treat your fellow man. THAT is LOVE. THAT is NOT belittling. That beauty is not pulling away from your self-esteem or your self-worth.
I would urge each of you to allow yourselves to feel whatever feelings you are encountering at this time. If that is sadness, allow yourself to cry. Release it. Let it go. If you are grieving, if you are angry, if you are happy, if you are joyful – allow that emotion to express within your physical self. So much illness is present because those emotions are stuffed into a container somewhere within your physical self. This manifests as DIS-ease and imbalance within your body. Wherever these is dis-ease and imbalance your energetic patterning and energetic field cannot flow, cannot flow correctly. Think of a river that runs very clear, and very fast and circulates. When you cast doubt upon yourself, when you allow this dis-ease or imbalance to manifest within the physical, you create a dam within this river. Blocks are created within your physical and energetic system that may create a backache, a headache, an earache or even things like cancer, seizures and other diseases within your body – they all have an emotional connection, an energetic connection and a spiritual connection.
It is important to realize when you get an ache or a pain within your body to connect with your heart, Dear Ones. Ask your heart, why is this happening? What emotion is this tied to? Think about where you were when you first started feeling the discomfort. What was the incident right before the pain came on? Obviously, sometimes accidents happen and cannot always be avoided. But the majority of the time, the dis-ease and imbalance within your body has an emotional and energetic connection.
I urge you to work at keeping your systems clear and grounded. The more that you can do this, the more light you hold within yourself and the more light you anchor here upon this planet.
Together we can shine so brightly. So brightly.
It was always the intention, as souls first came to this planet, to create Heaven, Home, here on Earth. There have been times when we have achieved that vibration on this planet. It is possible once again. It is possible within your lifetime. Anything is possible, Dear Ones, if you set your mind, your heart and your soul to achieve it.
Most children learn the word, “no,”during the terrible twos age. They are creating their own space and searching for their independence by asserting what they like, what they don’t like and what they just have no use in trying out whatsoever. It’s a part of understanding the process of setting boundaries and even goes deeper than that if you care to discuss the mainstay of human survival. We, as humans, need to create healthy boundaries so we can exist and flourish in this game of life. That’s one of the reasons small children are so fond of the word no – they are expressing their power and trying to assert control over their lives. Now, at two years old, there’s really not a heck of a lot of control they have, but it sets the tone for all things later in life.
But what happens when a child is taught to not create these boundaries? What happens when a child is taught that they cannot say no, and that its okay for other people to dominate them, control them and abuse them?
I can tell you it’s not easy to set boundaries, or even feel like you have a right to tell someone, “no”, when it’s been instilled in you that you have no voice, that your feelings don’t matter, and someone else’s pleasure takes precedent over your pain. As a kid, you feel like you just don’t matter, or you bury it somewhere deep inside in a dark place where it grows like a disease in the recesses of suppressed memory.
Saying, “NO,” sound so simple, right? It’s a small word. It’s easy to pronounce. Most people understand it, no matter their language. And yet, it can be so difficult to express for many of us.
When my uncle first abused me at the age of three, I didn’t know what was happening. I trusted him. I loved him. I just thought he was giving me a bath. When I felt the physical pain of it, he told me this was the way it was supposed to be and I couldn’t say no. I gave away all my power to him.
This set up a lifetime of continuously doing that over and over and over again – giving away my power, especially to those I viewed as authority figures, or older adults. I suffered sexual abuse more times than I care to remember or dwell upon. When I would get in situations where I felt a physical, mental, or emotional violation, I would withdraw and go right back to that three-year old perspective of not having a voice. The times when I did seem to find my voice, it came out screeching and filled with venom. It was as if all the times I hadn’t spoken were bottled up inside and came out in one gigantic wave. The emotion would be so strong, that my opinion still didn’t matter, because I came across as a screaming shrew.
Finding that balance of speaking my truth, while being in my power has been one of my greatest lessons. It’s still something I contend with and am very sensitive about. I analyze my words and do my best to keep myself in check to make sure I am not exaggerating based on an emotional trigger. And honestly, sometimes, I just let the words rip from my mouth, because that’s what the situation calls for.
Mostly, I’ve discovered I am a whole lot happier and healthier by allowing myself to say, “NO”. That word means not at all, to no extent, and it’s necessary to set those boundaries for yourself. It’s not your job to make everyone happy. You owe it to yourself to BE happy.
I’ve learned it’s okay to say, “NO,” to anyone – your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, your boss, etc. Heck, it’s okay to SCREAM it if you need to.
Just don’t say, “NO,” to your power and your boundaries. They are important and YOU are worthy of them.
On the way home from running errands, I heard a voice say, “You need to stop at the cemetery.” I tried to brush it aside, because I have a bizillion things to do on my to do list today, but as I got closer to the cemetery, I began hearing a little girl’s name and seeing flowers next to a grave and knew I had to stop.
I pulled up to the side of the children’s part of the cemetery and asked to be shown where I needed to go. I soon found a recent grave with a flower arrangement, teddy bear and angel statue upon it. This was under a shade tree and as I tuned into the energy around me I saw her, a little girl, looking about 18 months old, hiding behind the tree, looking lost.
All I wanted to do was gather her up in my arms and take all her fears away. I began to communicate with her, and she was very timid, very shy and very scared. I asked for one of my power animals to connect with her and as he came over and rubbed his head against her, she began to smile.
This little soul was earthbound, so much in shock from a sudden death and pulled to the Earth plane by her grieving parents, that she didn’t cross over. It wasn’t that she wasn’t worthy or anything like that, she had just resisted when it was time to cross and was therefor stuck between two worlds.
I connected with Arch Angel Gabriel and asked for the tunnel of light to open for her, and Arch Angel Jophiel came forward and started coaxing the girl towards the light. Jophiel and my animal spirit walking with the little girl towards the light when suddenly an older woman came through and reached out her hand to the little girl.
I believe this female spirit to be her grandmother, and one the little girl had not known in the physical, but completely recognized. She ran to the woman with delight and crossed over easily and with joy.
As I stood in the middle of the cemetery, suddenly my to do list didn’t seem so big, in fact in didn’t really matter at all. All that mattered was that moment, that moment of love, of peace and of joy.
We are all just here, walking each other home in one way or another. Take the time to listen to that inner guidance, even when it’s the last thing on your list to do. You never know what gift may be waiting for you right around the corner.
Each year, when Mother’s Day comes around, I am reminded of this experience I had several years ago. I wrote this article for a magazine and share it with you now in honor of all the Moms out there who care so deeply for their children.
A Mother’s Love Never Ends
My Mother’s Day experience a few years ago was one of those “ah-hah” moments that God so wonderfully puts in our path to teach us life lessons of love and wisdom. Every year when Mother’s Day comes around, I am reminded of this event that so deeply impacted my life.
My husband was scheduled for an 11 hr shift at work putting him out of the house from 10am until 9pm. This did not leave much time for us to celebrate Mother’s Day as a family, meaning more specifically him keeping our three kids in line while I was able to relax. I was disappointed, but completely understood and was concentrating on the fact that my wonderful husband took an entire week off work the previous week so that I could attend a seminar. I continued throughout the day to try to push that “being a girl” side of me away – you know the one – that overly sensitive, emotional side – well, that did not work! Trying to push that away only attracted those feelings to me more (Oh – don’t we all LOVE the LAW OF ATTRACTION!). It was like trying to keep the bar of Dove Chocolate away from the PMS victim – it was NOT going to happen. So I spent a good deal of my day being angry, feeling sorry for myself and listening to the kids fight, which I am sure was more than triggered by me being depressed. I was not in one of those “love and light” type of moods, if you get my meaning.
My husband called to see if we would meet him for an early dinner at an Italian place near his work. We went and the restaurant was closed! Mother’s Day dinner was taco shop for me, but at least I did not have to cook! On the way home from dinner, we passed by the site of a horrific car accident that happened a few miles away from our home a week earlier. The area where the accident had happened had been turned into a memorial with candles, balloons, and flowers. As I passed, I saw him again just as I had seen him in the few days previous to this one. There stood a little boy, looking lost and confused, just staring at the memorial. I knew he was lost. It did not register to him the extent of what happened and his soul had gone into shock, not able to cross over with the others. Being a medium, I see spirits and feel them, but do not always go out of my way to help them cross. At times, this is their lesson to remain earth bound, so it just depends on the energy. Some have unfinished business, others are stuck. As this is a planet of free will, I do not take it upon myself to help any spirit I might see cross over. This boy, however, tugged at my heart. As I passed by, I promised myself I would come back that evening, after things had calmed down with my kids and see if I could help him.
I returned later that night to still find him there, standing near the balloons and flowers. I pulled off the road and onto the dirt lot where the memorial was placed. One single candle was still burning. It was surreal. I had found his name through some research, as well as the name of his mother who had passed in the car crash. He stood there listlessly staring at the street where the drunk driver had hit his family’s car. Flashes of the accident went through my mind – the moments before impact when the children were laughing, when the mother and her sister were discussing their plans. I saw the force of the collision and the SUV spin out of control, flip and burst into flames. I heard the screams of everyone inside the car. I knew as I saw these visions, that this poor child was seeing the same scene, played over and over.
Tears came to my eyes as I called in my guides and the Arch Angels Michael, Gabriel and Jophiel to assist me. I asked Gabriel to make a vortex of light so that the boy could see it and pass through onto the other side. As I spoke to the boy, he was unsure of what was happening as he moved toward me and walked in my direction. I explained that his mother was waiting for him in heaven and that all was fine. He saw the light and stepped towards it but was still hesitant. I began to speak the words “I love you” in his language as his Mother reached out her hand to accept him into this tunnel of pure and divine love. They embraced and looked over at me one last time as if to say thank you and then the tunnel closed. I knew he had crossed and that his soul was at peace. It was a beautiful and loving experience for me. So many lessons I learned that Mother’s Day.
I have learned that the most loving gift and lesson I can ever have is to help another. I have learned that when I get so wrapped up in my own “stuff” the best way to get out of it if to assist someone else. The most precious thing I think any of us here on this planet can do is to serve others through love and compassion. That can be through a smile, a touch, loving energy, watering a plant, patting a pet on the head or simply speaking the words, “I Love You”. Know that we ALL make a difference here. We all have the ability to express ourselves through love and light.
This has taught me to be so grateful for what I do have in my life, and not concentrate on what is “missing”. Please, give your children an extra hug today and know how blessed we all are for having them in our lives.
On a side note, a year or so later, I was at a dear friend’s home, who happens to be a healer. I had a session with her in which she took several photos during the healing. As we sat at her table while she uploaded the images, my eyes fixated on a photo laying in front of me. I recognized the person in the image immediately. The person in the photo was the boy’s mother. She was in the photo, hovering above a man laying down on the healing bed. It looked as if she was comforting him. When I asked my friend about the picture she explained that this man’s family had been killed in a drunk driver car accident. He had come to see her before he left the country to hopefully release the guilt and grief he’d been feeling. I know with all my heart that I was meant to see this picture. It was one more confirmation and a feeling of gratitude ran through me.
God gives us no coincidences. It is up to us to see things as they are and revel in the miracles that surround us.
The Season of Spring is here! So often that entails clearing and cleaning those routine things, or even perhaps those issues we’ve been avoiding.
My personal cleaning and clearing began with me taking a hard look and evaluating my physical self. For much of my life I have ignored the signs and messages my body has given me and chose to push forward, masking these needs and instead traveling to an etheric playground where things like pain and suffering do not exist.
As I took inventory of the false beliefs I’d come to instill within my core self, I began to put the puzzle pieces together. So much of my ideals and underlying struggle still remained in lessons I was taught as a child.
My mother was, and still very much remains, what I like to lovingly call a pill whore. Yes, I know that sounds cold and callous, but I deal with this with my sarcasm. It’s a tool I use quite frequently. When I would have a headache, I was given a pill to cure it. When I had to have my first gynecological exam at the age of 12, I was given a valium to deal with it. When I had menstrual cramps at 13, codeine became my best friend.
I was taught that whenever you received a prescription medication, make sure to refill it, even if you didn’t really need it, because chances are you’d be sick again in the near future, or someone in the family would be, and we would need that medicine. I began doling out Mom’s meds to her by the time I was six, which was a constant combination of uppers, downers, pain killers and so forth. Drugs were plain and simple, a way of life. This is how you dealt with things.
Fast forward to present day and I find myself plagued with symptoms of low energy level, headaches, heart palpitations, hair loss, inflammation, low metabolism, and achiness over my entire body. Regular medication is not working. I intuitively know my thyroid is out of balance, even though I am on a natural medication to assist this problem. My MD feels I fall within the “normal range” of things, and that my medication does not need to be increased.
Clarification – I’ve never been normal. Let’s just make that clear.
So, for once, I decided to LISTEN to my body. I allowed myself to feel all the different things that didn’t feel right. I didn’t take a pill or an Advil to get me through it. I just sat with the feelings, searching for emotional sensations and reactions.
Through this process, I knew I needed to do something, and something drastic to try and shock my system back into balance. I looked at my poor diet and knew it needed to start there. So I began to go cold turkey – no more gluten, dairy, sugar or caffeine. The first few days were a complete blur, as I moved through the detox symptoms. It wasn’t easy and sure was not pretty.
But after a week, I began to notice something. My joints weren’t hurting. My face wasn’t puffy, the swelling in my legs and feet had vanished and quite interestingly enough, I did not have the recurrent headaches. I began exercising daily, moving my body and increasing my water intake.
I also rediscovered the wonderful gift of daily meditation. Each morning, I would take quiet time for me and go into a healing trance, calling in my Spiritual Support Team and asking for their assistance in clearing away that which I needed to let go of. I would concentrate on bringing in a higher vibration to repair damage caused within the body and then I would fill the void with light.
Then began another part of the clearing.
I opened up my medicine cabinet one morning and saw the truth staring back at me. Here were bottles and bottles of unused prescription drugs I was no longer taking. I opened drawers and found more and more bottles – my “just in case” stash that I’d accumulated from various aches and pains. Some had never even been used or opened, because I refused to take them. I began the process of removing all the drugs from my stash, and realized I was building a large mound of prescription bottles. By the time I’d cleaned out my drawers, I had 32 prescriptions. These were an accumulation over the last four years, from when my health had various ups and downs.
I was shocked when I saw the pile of bottles. They had been hidden inside my drawers and medicine cabinet, hardly ever seeing the light of day, just like so many of the aches and pains I had stored in my body.
I correctly disposed of the meds, and thought about this clearing process. By trashing these pills I’d been hanging onto because of a pattern I’d acquired since childhood, I let go of all that stagnant energy. I realized that when I listen to my body when it is trying to tell me something, I can usually figure out what it is I need to do. Most times it’s an easy fix, some deep breathing, a glass of water, stretching, a walk or maybe I need to express something I’ve been holding back. I am finally really grasping the lesson of self-coping and being present.
I understand that prescription medications have their place in this world, and they have saved countless lives. But I also believe they are harshly overused and severely abused within our society. There is never a magic button to push or a magic pill to swallow that makes everything better.
Finally, at the ripe old age of 44, I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I am listening to my body now as much as I do to my spirit. For me, that is a huge change and one that I am deeply embracing on every level.
It’s a beautiful gift when we can appreciate the wonder and blessings that exist right inside us. They’ve always been there. Sometimes we just ignore them or perhaps were never shown how to find them in the first place.
It’s never too late to start exploring….go ahead. Have fun with it!
I am looking forward to continuing on in the blessed energy of springtime, holding onto the vibrations of rebirth and resurrection.
I recently volunteered in my son’s fourth grade class and was overwhelmed by the energy of 34 nine and ten year old kids in one seemingly small room. Walking in on a Monday morning, the teacher was swimming in a sea of small children with backpacks, lunch bags, papers and questions. I was so happy my job that day was making copies – in another room.
I don’t know how this amazing woman does her job. To have that much patience must really be a gift from God. Seriously!
I love the role I have as a Spiritual Teacher. I don’t have to worry about hall passes or missing assignments. I just get to be the tour guide to the light. It is such a joy for me to see the light bulb click on inside a student’s head and witness them really embrace their Intuitive gifts.
I’ve been teaching a lot the last few months and I’ve had the blessing of seeing many students awaken in this very way. During a recent Mediumship class, a student was obviously nervous about participating in a psychometry exercise. Each person had brought a personal items of someone who had passed, and the students were to hold one of these items and pick up energies and imprints about the person who had owned the item. I walked the class through the exercise and it came this man’s time to share what came through for him. He had chosen a wallet from the group of items, and prefaced his sharing time with remarks of, “I don’t know what I’m doing,” and “I’m a beginner, I’m not good at this stuff.” But when he took a deep breath and rattled off the impressions he received from holding the wallet, I could see a big smile paint across the woman sitting across from him. She had brought the wallet to class. It was her father’s. And the man NAILED information about him that no one else in the room would have known – he had a mustache, he loved baseball, he had to quit smoking, etc. All from picking up, holding a wallet and opening the door to connect. I will treasure that moment for as long as I live. It is a priceless example to me of trust. He had never done anything like this before, and even though he was unsure of himself, he still tired. And wow! No words can describe the energy in the room as he was validated for the information he brought through.
In another recent workshop, Channeling to be exact, a student came up to me and asked, “Are you sure I can do this?” She was very hesitant about receiving information from Source, thinking she would just be making up the messages that might come through. I reassured her and asked her to take the pressure off herself and to just be in the flow. When it came time for a group channeling exercise, this student brought through the most amazing, pure message from home. Another ah-ha moment I will always reflect back on. She was so proud of herself later and claimed that is seemed effortless.
Witnessing connection to Spirit through students realizing their abilities is such a blessing to me. It’s not because I’m an incredible teacher. It’s just because I know a few trusted roadways and maps on how to get to the light.
Life is about taking the leap and trusting. You never know what you’re able to do until you try.
I was guided to channel a message last Friday night at a Spiritual Circle. Here is what came through:
It is a grateful blessing to all of us who gather here with you this night, this moment. For indeed there are many of us. We have waited in anticipation for this moment, for you to call us in.
We are a collective energy from the other side. Just as all of you are collective energies in your own right, you are all part of the All That Is. Each of your hearts connects with one another. Each of your souls connects with one another, just as you connect with us. We are each the same. And isn’t that beautiful? And isn’t that amazing? And isn’t that magic?
Magic-what an interesting term. For many things can be called and described as magic: love, light, manifestation, abundance. There are so many things that fall into this category. The thrill and excitement of anticipation is quite magical in itself. Each of you is created with the vibration of magic, for magic is in creation itself. It is that Spark of Mother/Father God that resides inside your heart that speaks to you, that is the light itself in which you were created. Its magic, and Dear Ones, that is you. You are a beautiful, magical being of light. And it is only when you lose your way that you begin to doubt that fact. It is only when you play into the ego-mind, that cynicism, that doubt, that you cloud your judgment of the magic that is within.
Let us remind you now of that beautiful spark of light within you. Take a deep breath, Dear Ones, connect with that Spark of light inside you and allow it to glow. Visualize what that is inside of you. Give it a name, a color, a vibration, a frequency, a feeling, a sound – it doesn’t matter. Just connect with it, for that is the magical part of you that is inside and also exists inside everyone else in existence.
As you connect with this magical part of yourself, this Spark of light that is you, it creates a doorway for you to connect with that same Spark of light within others. It is much like a web of light. It is much like the stars within the galaxy, how they connect through constellations, how they create different patterns within the night’s sky. So being, for you as well connect with your own light, with your own frequencies, with your own magic.
Magic is very powerful, Dear Ones. It is not about trickery. It is not about illusion. It is about truth. It is about the truth of who you are as a soul. You are not merely a human being. You are a soul playing the role of human in this very moment and in the past as well. It is magical indeed, for you come into this world seemingly forgetting your connection and your spark. But through your experience, through your life as a human you come into different realizations and remembrances about home, about that Spark inside you, about the magic. And you begin to remember your truth. And you begin to connect with your soul, to know who you truly are, to feel your own power, and to realize that you are never alone.
You are not small, Dear Ones. You are greatness. You are light itself. And indeed, isn’t that magical as well? As you go about your day and the self-talk comes into your mind of doubt, of worry and stress, we urge you to step back, take a deep breath; connect with that Spark that is inside that is you. Remember the magic that you are and how you were created, how you constantly are in every moment. It is time to wake up from the dream, Dear Ones. It is time to own your power. It is time, once again, to practice the magic that is you. For as you stand in your own light, you spread this light to others. And that, indeed, is magic as well.
Remember who you are. Trust and know that in every moment there is light all around you. Each and every one of you is connected to all of us. We are each the same. We each vibrate at the same frequency of light that resides inside that spark that is you. You are the all that is. You are Mother/Father God, for this is how you are created and this is how you will always be. Trust in that, Dear Ones, and don’t be afraid to practice the magic that is you.
It has been a great joy coming through to you this night. And know that we believe in your magic.
Allowing Spirit to Guide Me…(And Other Adventures on the Way to El Pollo Loco)
Before I begin my story, let me just caution you that what I am going to share with you I DO NOT RECOMMEND. This is something that happens to me in my line of work, and I don’t advise it for anyone. That WARNING in place, let me continue….
A few weeks ago, I was into the middle of my day doing sessions and as I looked at the clock my stomach began growling. I had exactly enough time to run to El Pollo Loco – a tasty Mexican Chicken restaurant with a drive thru window – grab some lunch and eat it at home before my next session and then pick up the kids from school. YAY! I was excited.
I get in my car, crank up some tunes and am on my way. I drive a few blocks and suddenly things begin to
shift. I fall into trance.
I hear my guides begin to speak with me about a little girl who is having some issues with disconnect going
on in her brain. My guides show me the little girl’s brain in holographic form. I am shown the synaptic
pathways and where there are disconnects that need some extra energy sent to remove energetic blocks and assist with the information flow of the brain. My guides then walk me through the process of connecting to her pineal gland and completing a clearing of this energy center, as well as show me the method in which her mother, a Reiki Master, can do this process as well. Fascinating stuff! It all becomes crystal clear to me that I need to share this information with the Mom.
I realize, at this point, I am pulling into the parking lot at El Pollo Loco. My stomach is still growling…..hmmmm….do I ditch lunch and call the Mom? How the hell did I get here anyway? There’s a line at El Pollo Loco in drive thru…..hey…I can do both! I make the call to the Mom and start clammering on about what information came through, trying my best not to sound like a psycho lunatic and thanking God that she is open to this stuff. Then it’s my turn in line.
“Can you hold on please? ” (Mom holds)
“Yes, I’d like a chicken combo with beans please. Thank you.” (give my order to drive thru)
“Sorry about that. Yes, so then you connect with her pineal gland and sense for synaptic pathways that
appear weak. You will get a vibe on what kind of energy or symbol to send, it may even appear as a color or sound frequency.”
As I answer the mother’s questions, it becomes my turn to pay for and pick up my order. I am speaking on my car’s bluetooth system so it’s on speakerphone and as I am speaking about pineal glands, brain
connection and energy work, the cashier gives me a funny look but my order comes out REALLY FAST with extra napkins and everything! I can only imagine her thoughts on what she was seeing and hearing.
While I don’t recommend trancing out while you drive, I am so happy that I was open to the experience.
Spirit connects with us when it is divine time. Had I waited till I had a few extra moments to spare in the day, I could’ve missed that amazing sequence of information and techniques I knew nothing about previously.
You never know when Spirit is going to give you a message. It might even be on your way to El Pollo Loco.
This is one reason why I avoid McDonalds…..Those Golden Arches might just be a portal of some kind. I went there once and something stuck with me for the last 27 years. I call him my husband. LOL!
Many people don’t understand what happens to a child when they are sexually abused. I can only speak from my personal experience, but I know from working with others who have been through this type of horrid happening, that they are misjudged. People who have not stood in the shoes of a victim should not even attempt to calculate what they “would” do, because until you are put in a certain situation, you really just don’t know.
Many children will bury their hurt and their pain. They will stuff it and pretend that it doesn’t exist. My abuse began when I was three years old and even as the first act happened, it was my saving grace to splinter off and go somewhere else. I can recall witnessing each encounter with my attacker from a third person stance where I was floating above the situation, removed from it. I believe this was my first experience with the Angels and that they were assisting in this out of body type viewpoint to save me. I know with all my heart had I not stuffed and locked away the five years of abuse I would not be alive today. Leaving my body helped me deal with the pain. Hiding the memory helped me deal with life.
As we all know, things don’t remain hidden forever. The “secret” manifested in my body as a physical ailment and my ovarian system was a complicated wreck! I suffered from ovarian issues beginning at age 13 and on into my mid 30’s. In my mid 30’s during the eruption of an ovarian cyst, the memories I had hidden for so long began to come to the surface. It was as if the body could not longer contain the pain and the secret. Much like a volcano builds up pressure, I erupted.
It’s been a long road from that moment to now. I find it interesting that once the memories came forward that the health issues stopped. Physical problems that had plagued me the majority of my life simply vanished. I wish the emotional healing were that simple. I was thrust under the microscope of those close to me, “Why didn’t you say something earlier? Why are you telling this now? Why can’t you just get over it? Are you making this up?”
My saddened response was, “What purpose would I have in creating a falsity like this?” It hurt my soul to know that by many I wasn’t believed, even though this attacker had raped another relative (no, she didn’t come forward either) as well as he had made passes and advances on other family members, all of which I found out about later.
I found myself trapped between two worlds for a while – the childlike me and the adult me. It was as if I had to relive and bring those memories back into my mind in order to heal them. I went through various stages of PTSD as memories of the abuse would come to the surface and I could not control it. I would be shopping at the market and suddenly the panic attack would come over me. I could smell him, I could feel him. It was as if I was that little girl, sprawled out on the bathroom floor all over again. Life and my emotions became a huge balancing act.
Fast forward to today. I still can be triggered, and actually that’s been going on the last few months. When I feel as if I am under attack, emotionally or otherwise, those last bits of memories I have not healed and released come forward. It was during one such recent moment when it came into my awareness that though my abuser was dead, his soul had not crossed. He was an earthbound spirit, suffering and wandering the earth plane in misery. I will admit, this information gave me some satisfaction that karma reigns supreme. What we do to others does come back to us in one form or another. I was pleased he was hurting. I celebrated that he was finally getting his just rewards for the pain he had caused. The little girl in me wanted to do the happy dance, knowing that payback was in place.
Weeks passed. The triggers subsided. Yet still the thoughts of my abuser remained in the back of my mind. I knew, from the work that I do, that I could help him cross over. It was a no-brainer. I’ve dealt with earthbound spirits before and assisted in their crossing to the other side. But did I want to do this? Did I want to end his suffering? Didn’t he deserve to be in misery?
And herein lies the duality of existence – living the human life as a soul. For with all the tools and learning I have, my human mind and human heart are still very much intact. As a soul, I had to address this with myself. Could I act beyond my own hurt and pain? Could I rise above it and help the very person who had impacted my life on such a large degree?
I sat in deep meditation this morning with my guides around me. It was time. It was time to let go. It was time to move to a deeper state of light and holding on to this pain was no longer serving me. I shifted into healer mode, and as I did so I could feel Arch Angel Jophiel and Arch Angel Michael beside me and gathered with them were the Arch Angels Raphael and Gabriel. I could sense my uncle and his pain as Arch Angel Gabriel brought down the tunnel of light. Raphael and Gabriel took him by his hands to guide him through, but he resisted. He said that it was a trap. He was not going to the pits of hell. He knew what was waiting for him.
I walked towards him and placed my hand on his heart. I focused on sending as much light as possible into his spirit. As I did so, I began to clear his energy, calling to release any vibration or lower forms that were holding him here and preventing his crossing. As the clearing progressed, I saw an entity leave his energy field. I recognized the eyes of this entity, for I had seen it each time my uncle molested me. With a flash, the energies were drawn into the light and suddenly my uncle was cleared. He was lighter and brighter and his entire structure and mannerisms changed. He stumbled forward, to the tunnel of light, turning to look back at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Please forgive me.” And in that very moment, I did. I let it go. I forgave him. I released the past pains as I watched him enter a space of higher vibration and unconditional love he hadn’t experienced in quite some time.
And here I am, experiencing a higher vibration and unconditional love as well, just on another level. I am here in the duality of life, realizing that being human is a juggling act. Sometimes it’s best to act and react as the stumbling human that I am, and other times it takes embracing my soul to truly understand what this life is really all about – LOVE.