The Dark Side of Living in the Light

dark n light

The Dark Side of Living in the Light

Catchy title, right?  Not wishing to be dramatic here.  Just telling it like it is.

For some people, living in “the light” means being of a higher vibration and seeing that vibration in all of existence.  That is beautiful, amazing and wonderful.  It is possible to find your Zen and look at life from the higher perspective and realize that no matter what happens in the lifetime, you are a soul with a continuous stream of existence.

For other people, they find their spirituality within the light by adapting belief systems and practices that allow them to feel closer to their higher power.  This too, is an incredible way of life.

And still others take on roles as light workers, healers, ministers and such to help people open up to their light, to empower them to embrace their spirit and their strength.  Many of these Spiritual teachers and leaders teach that we are of a vibration now where darkness no longer exists, while others will pound the reality of evil into the forefront of their teachings to elicit fear.

So where is reality in all this?

I believe we create our own reality through our perspective.  If you believe that we are living in a higher dimension right now where no dark energies can be present, then that is your reality.  If you believe you have to adhere to certain rules and rituals because the devil waits for you around each corner, then that is your truth.

I never really believed in curses or spells.  Sure, I liked to play witch when I was a little girl and was known to play with candles when I wasn’t supposed to.  I was drawn to ancient Egyptian texts at a young age and marveled at their rites and incantations used in ceremony.  I thought it magical.  I respected their devotion to their faith.  But that, honestly, was about it.

Then began my studies in Native American Shamanism.  I was part of ceremonial practices and could feel Spirit and energy all around me.  It wasn’t a spell.  I wasn’t directing negativity to anyone.  It was beautiful, engaging, entrancing and LIGHT!  The connection made my heart sing.

As I dug deeper into my spiritual learning, I still held a disregard for curses, believing that only those in a state of fear and adhering to a particular belief system could be affected by such things.  I gave this practice no power whatsoever.  Even when my teachers would explain about psychic warfare and how to combat it, I would go to my happy place in my mind.  Those things had nothing to do with me.  They were for other people, not as “light” as me of course, to deal with in their reality.

And then I got my first attachment.  It hit me hard.  I was depleted, mentally, physically, emotionally and definitely spiritually.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I couldn’t concentrate, didn’t want to move and definitely felt like leaving this life would be the best choice I could make.  Thankfully, I turned to a trusted teacher and Shaman for help.  I thought it was something purely physical or perhaps I pulled something in from a client.

As I spoke to my Elder, he connected with my energy.  I could see him going into trance and taking inventory of my field.  Within moments he told me each physical symptom I was having, the negative thoughts I’d been experiencing as well as visions of a man I’d been working with.  He went on further to explain to me that this man had placed a negative entity into my energy field to weaken me and cause me harm.

I was dumbfounded.  Why would anyone want to do that?  I was very Pollyannaish about being of the light.  I thought as long as I did my light work I got a free pass on negativity.

Ummmm….NO!  Even as I write that statement I cringe.  And I laugh.

My wonderful teacher explained to me the importance of boundaries – physical, emotional and energetic.  He also enforced and reiterated the tools I had been taught but not practicing myself in regards to clearing and dealing with negative energies directed to cause and inflict harm.

My mind and heart went into fear.  Was I so weak that I allowed this person to harm me?  What would happen next time?  Why didn’t my guides let me know?  How can I be intuitive and not know this?

I saw the eyes of my teacher begin to sparkle and a smile paint across his compassionate face.  “What did you learn?”  He asked.  “What gifts were you given?  And Honey, if you expect your guides to give you ALL the answers you are barking up the wrong tree.  If they gave you all the answers why would you be here?  You would stay on the other side.”

I sat with that.  Long and hard I sat with that.  I began to realize that life is a learning curve.  Each experience gifts us an opportunity to discover something new.

Doing this work for going on 20 years now, I’ve witnessed and experienced more than my share of light and dark.  I believe we can’t have one without the other – not on this Earth plane.  We come here to experience both and to learn from each.  And then we have a choice.  Which will we allow to be the driving force in our life, good or evil?

Yes, there are curses, spells, negative entities, demons, dark dimensional beings, psychic attacks and other creepy crawlies in existence.  But that doesn’t mean we have to bury our heads in the sand or hide under the covers.  Knowledge, as they say, is power.  There are tools to deter each of these scenarios and just because something is out there doesn’t mean you will experience it.

Every bad thing that happens in your life isn’t because of a curse or some sorcerer conjuring black magic.  Take responsibility for your life, meaning – your BODY, your MIND and your ENERGY. When all are in good working order with proper boundaries in place, no darkness can come through.

Blessing the Land and Honoring Those Who Went Before Us ~

medicine wheel in desert

Blessing the Land and Honoring Those Who Went Before Us

I never quite know what kinds of requests I’m going to receive, and when I got this one it was a shocker for me (yes, I still get shocked over things…hahaha).  A client had been contacting me for clearings since she started working at a particular location and was still feeling “off”.  Her energy as well as the energy of other employees were low and drained as well as sales were not what they should be.  She then asked me to tap into the location where she worked to see if I picked up anything.

Energy is energy.  Just like a satellite signal can travel through your television station, I can trace and sense the energy of a location from a distance without being there.  We all have this ability, as do all animals.  When I tapped into the vibration I got the distinct feeling of a whirlwind of energy and FEAR OF DEATH coming through very loud and clear.  My client asked if this was affecting her health and her job, which it definitely was, as well as that of the other employees.  I caught the vibe that the place needed to be cleared and blessed, along with some shamanic work and that there were 4 or 7 souls that needed to be crossed over.

As I explained my findings, the client asked me, “Can you clear it?”  This area is a local Las Vegas housing community being built that is still under construction.  “How big of an area is it, ” I asked.  “Fifteen acres, ” she said.

Fifteen acres…..that’s a lot of land.  My ego mind began to fill with doubt and all the reasons why I shouldn’t, but my Spirit relaxed.  I told the client I would think about it and let her know.

I worked with the energies of the land from a distance, and the story began to unfold.  There was a small group of Native American Indians that utilized this land.  It was a place they would set up camp in the change of seasons as they migrated back and forth.  One day a group of soldiers came to make them move.  They wanted them to relocate.  They proclaimed that this was not the land of the Indians, though their ancestors had been using it for centuries.  Seven strong warriors from this tribe did their best to protect their land and their families.  They perished in a short-lived battle against the white soldiers and their armory of weapons.  The braves took out four of the soldiers during the fight.

The souls of the warriors and the soldiers were still tied to this land.  The Indians were incredibly angry over what transpired and vowed to never allow anyone to take their land from them.  This land was sacred.  It was a part of their heritage.  It was a part of them.  The soldiers were earthbound due to the trauma that had happened and in essence, their energy was being drained and used by the warriors to fuel their anger.  Imagine being trapped in a room, outnumbered by your greatest enemy.  Now imagine that same feeling, multiply it by a thousand and extend the time for all eternity.  Not such a pleasant predicament.

A few days ago, I drove out to the site with my 8-year-old son, Adam, who is also a sensitive and medium.  I hadn’t told him anything about what I’d felt.  I just told him I needed to make a stop at a place I was clearing on our way home from running errands.  As soon as we pulled onto the property my stomach began to churn.  I felt nauseous.  My head began to spin.  I pulled over and parked the car.  Adam told me that the spirits were not happy to have us there and that his stomach was hurting really bad.  I thought I was going to vomit, so we got out of the car for a few minutes before leaving.  I’ve never had that strong of a reaction to any clearing work I’ve ever done, or any area I’ve been to, and I’ve been to some really dark places before.  I knew that this was not going to be an easy process.

With the Shamanic work I do, many earthbounds, especially the ones causing trouble, do not like me at all.  They will try to scare me, hurt me and cause me pain.  They sense that I am there to aid in their crossing and they are not too happy about it.  I made sure that Adam and I left quickly and we began to clear our energy and release the vibration that we’d walked into.  No wonder the client was feeling out of sorts!  There is no way I could concentrate with all that going on.

I sat in meditation with my guides about this location.  I was shown a way to connect to the souls of the soldiers during the full moon.  I used this opportunity to help them cross over.  This weakened the anger of the warriors and it also lessened their resolve.  They had been fully confident that the soldiers would remain with them as a form of punishment for what had happened.

I needed to be on site to finish the clearing and it had to be a time when the construction crews were not working.  The moving and shifting of the land caused great torture to the warriors.  There was no way I could reason with them while construction and building was going on.

Spirit showed me that today was to be the day.  I sat in deep trance before I left to the site.  The warriors wanted me to feel their pain, their sadness and their agony over being torn away from their families and all they loved in this world.  There was no honor in what had happened to them and to their people.  I allowed their emotions to pour through me as tears ran down my face.  I spoke to them of understanding betrayal and disrespect.  I projected my soul’s energy to them to prove to them that along my soul’s journey I have encountered similar experiences.  To stay in one place with such negative emotion was to hold constant to a lower vibration.  It was to be away from those that loved them and held them dear.  It was to be alone, not amongst great Spirit and their people.  Still, they held doubt.  I had them thinking, but not quite believing.

Each shift in consciousness begins with a baby step.  I was happy to know that I at least got them thinking.

I did not see these warriors as bad people or evil spirits.  I saw them as being in pain.  All anger is a result of pain, and they had lots to feel angry about.  My intention was yes, to clear the land for the client, but most of all my deepest purpose was to bring these brave men peace and rejoin them with their family.

I asked Great Spirit to allow me to be a vehicle to bring forth wisdom and healing.  Guidance brought through that I was to dress in the manner of my own ancestors out of respect for the warriors and their people.  With my hair braided and turquoise adorning my neck and ears, I began to make an offering to honor those who had made their life on this land.  Tobacco, sweet grass, sage, turquoise stones and other rocks filled the medicine bag and soon I was out the door and on my way.

I arrived on site and was guided to build a medicine wheel near the back of the property that is closest to BLM land.  My guides told me it was important that the clearing and blessing be complete by noon, so I wasted no time getting started.  I began to build a medicine wheel out of rocks, and as I did so, the warriors gathered around me.  They were quite curious as to what I was doing but asked no questions. They did not try to hurt me.   Sweet grass was used to call in the ancestors, the grandmothers and grandfathers who walked the land before us and tribute was paid to the four directions and elements.  I entered the wheel and began sacred prayer of blessing and clearing.  I called to the warriors and told them I meant them no harm.  I was there to help them heal and release their pain.  This place was to be used by others now, as a community for others to share and experience love and prosperity with their own families.  As I spoke the words and opened my heart a crowd gathered inside the wheel.  Loved ones, power animals and the souls of other warriors stood with me.  We are all one, I told the warriors.  We are all connected.  Your blood is our blood.  Your pain is our pain.  Our light is your light.  Allow us to truly pay honor to you and this land by helping you to cross over to those you love so dearly. Let go of the anger and allow this land to thrive once more.

The beauty and emotion experienced in those moments that the warriors entered the wheel and were led home will forever be imprinted upon my heart and my soul.  It was a sacred, holy instance and I am grateful and honored to bare witness to such a miracle.  Their homecoming and celebration continues, I’m sure.  Many gathered to lead them home.

I got back into my car, looked at the clock to see it was 12:00pm on the dot!  All in divine time.  A feeling of peace washed over me and my heart seemed to feel a bit larger knowing that these brave warriors were finally free.  The Universe is much lighter and brighter tonight as these brave souls released their trauma and entered once again into the loving vibration of Great Spirit.

The Art of Being Spiritual ~ No Handbook Necessary!

Don’t you wish life came with a handbook?  Wouldn’t that be so cool?  The first time you got your heart broken you could look it up in the handbook, turn to page 3267, and read all about what you should be feeling, how you should act, and how to make that speedy recovery. I have often dreamed of having such a Godsend…no more wondering, making mistakes, and if you were supposed to suffer, then you would know you were on the right path for that as well.  A road map for your life’s path.

But then, really, what fun would that be, having all the answers?

See, God created this thing called, “FREE WILL.”  Maybe you’ve heard about it?

YOU get to DECIDE for YOURSELF!  Really, its true!  Except for my kids, at least till they’re out of my house (haha).

WE have all been given this gift of free will, meaning we create our boundaries and decide how we act and how we react.  If we are presented with a challenge, we get to decide how we will handle it.  And because everyone reacts differently, based on their own lessons and perspectives, we have many opportunities to grow and learn.  Sometimes it may feel like you’ve learned enough though, doesn’t it? Like its time for a break, and only smooth sailing.  But if it were that easy, the soul growth would stop, and you really wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?

I witness it day in and day out.  People are hit with the most horrible situations, and then something else stressful happens.  As if the first issue wasn’t enough!  And just when you think there is no light at the end of the tunnel, something shifts.  You realize your strength.  You learn to ask for help.  You overcome a fear.  Just by making that one shift, it opens up a whole new, beautiful wave of positive energy.  I cannot begin to explain all the miracles I have been blessed and honored to witness through working with clients and through my own personal life as well.

The saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle” is quite true.  Even when you think you will break and the sky will fall, things can always change.  When you are sinking deeper into depression it is hard to see this, but remember, just by entertaining the idea that things can get better creates an opening for that very situation to occur.

Several years ago, I was working as a computer technician and trainer.  I was on my computer 40+ hours a week, and unfortunately not set up in a proper ergonomic fashion so pressure and stress would not be placed on my body.  I developed major nerve damage in my neck, arm and shoulder and was written out of work by my doctor.  So here I was, in massive amounts of pain, out of work, collecting 45% of my regular salary, having to go to doctors for treatment 3-5 times a week.  There were times when I would have  20-40 prolo injections into my spine, neck and shoulder and would be bedridden for days.  Just when thought life couldn’t get worse, I found out I was pregnant.  I had been told after my second child that I would not be able to get pregnant again.  Because of the pregnancy, I could not take certain meds or treatment.  Then my husband lost his job.  Then I needed surgery, which I did while awake, and was told I would never lift anything over 5 pounds.  I was told not to hold my baby when it was born and warned there was a possibility of dropping him because of the weakness in my arm, hand and wrist.  Soon after that, during a routine ultrasound, my ob-gyn found a problem with the baby.  His kidneys were not developing properly and there was a strong possibility he would need surgery right after his birth.

Can you say, S-T-R-E-S-S ?????

Amid worrying to the point it made me physically ill, I also began to go into premature labor at about six months.  All I could think about was, “Why me?  Why my baby?  Why my body?  What did I do wrong?  Why wasn’t I good enough to just have a normal life?”   While relaying my feelings to a dear friend and mentor, she asked me, “Have you been able to find the gift in all this?”

I have to say, that it was a good thing we were talking over the phone.  Hormones, pregnancy and frustration do not bring out the best in me.

Gift?  Was she serious?  I was on bed rest, not able to take care of my kids or myself and stressing over everything!  What kind of gift was I going to find in all of that?  Her words stuck with me for days after our conversation.  I had plenty of free time to think, so I mulled over every possibility I could imagine.

I began to make a list of things I was grateful for.  At first, the list was quite short.  As the days and weeks went by, the list grew.  I had to start small though, with the basics.  I first listed things like: house for shelter, food to eat, medical care.  Later on, words that flew across the page included: family that loved me, friends that supported me, the spirit of a dear friend who had crossed over.  I soon discovered that if I really looked, I found many blessings in my life.  As I focused my energies in that direction, a shift of focus took place.  I began to become grounded and decided that I would not accept the doctors diagnosis about my son’s kidneys.  Instead of worrying about his health, I gave him Reiki treatments several times a day.

Giving Reiki to Adam was like lighting a pipe for a crack addict.  He could not get enough of it!  And although tests a few days before he was born still showed kidney problems, at two weeks old he was given a clean bill of  health without the need for any treatment, well, except for more cuddles from his mommy.  Yes, I was even able to lift all 9 pounds and 11 ounces of him.

If I’d had a handbook to consult when all these issues presented, I bet I would not have learned what I did from the experience.  I may not have been able to really see the gift in all this at the time, but it is so clear to me now.

If I hadn’t hurt myself at work, I wouldn’t have been staying home.

If I hadn’t have been off work, I wouldn’t have had time to go on a cruise.

If I hadn’t gone on the cruise, I wouldn’t have been relaxed and became pregnant.

If I hadn’t became pregnant, there would be no Adam in my life.

I cannot imagine my life without that little guy.  In many ways, Adam healed me, because he helped me to see outside myself.  My life took a complete different direction because of him.

The only handbook for this life, is what we write upon its pages.  That is the true art of being spiritual; creating ourselves, our experiences in each moment with each breath.

I am reminded of a Lakota Prayer:

Lakota Prayer

Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery,
teach me how to trust
my heart,
my mind,
my intuition,
my inner knowing,
the senses of my body,
the blessings of my spirit.
Teach me to trust these things
so that I may enter my Sacred Space
and love beyond my fear,
and thus Walk in Balance
with the passing of each glorious Sun.

According to the Native People, the Sacred Space
is the space between exhalation and inhalation.
To Walk in Balance is to have Heaven (spirituality)
and Earth (physicality) in Harmony.

Remember, if the Creator put it there, it is in the right place.  The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.

May you see the many gifts in your life.

Love & Laughter,