Entitlement – Is it Really All About You?


What constitutes entitlement?

The very essence of the word as described in Encarta Dictionary means: grant somebody right: to give somebody the right to have or to do something.

So, based on this definition, is entitlement then a gift by nature?  It is in the act of giving, is it not?  Yet, so many people feel they have the right to CLAIM entitlement; they have the RIGHT to this, and they have the RIGHT to that.  How defiant they become when they are not getting what they feel is rightfully theirs.

But when do those rights become wrongs?

When you step over the free will of another’s choice – this has nothing to do with entitlement.  This has to do with selfishness.  When we view the world as to what is “owed” us, it is a mirror reflection of the lack and nothingness that resides inside.  It screams to hollow feeling within; a void, a hole that can never be filled completely by any one thing or any one emotion.

I have often watched the interaction and dance others do with the concept of entitlement.  It is very prevalent within family systems.  I counsel many clients regarding their conceived notions of what family owes them.  No one can change the past.  We can choose to relive it, revisit it, dwell on it, but never, ever can it be changed.  The only power we have over change is within ourselves.  We have the ability to change our perception, our behavior and our feelings.  That is it, plain and simple.  To hold some invisible yardstick to your experience as a child, citing checks and balances that you are due based on your past, is an equation that will never be complete.  How can you formulate an exchange like this in the first place?  Because you did this to me, then you owe me x, y, and z…???  Really ?

We are all entitled to love.  God has gifted us with that capacity.  We can choose to act through love, or to carry two ton chips on our shoulders as we strive for the rest of the world to see how much we deserve that love.

We have no rights when it comes to infringing upon another’s choices.  We have no entitlement in another’s life because of relation, position or role.  Entitlement is to be given, it is not to be battled over.

The next time you feel your mind wondering over what the world owes you, ask yourself, what have you given?  Have you acted out of love, or are your actions based on old wounds of the past that you’ve allowed to fester?

When actions stem only from love, entitlement melts away.  Hearts are opened, judgment dissolves and miracles are received.

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