Don’t you wish life came with a handbook? Wouldn’t that be so cool? The first time you got your heart broken you could look it up in the handbook, turn to page 3267, and read all about what you should be feeling, how you should act, and how to make that speedy recovery. I have often dreamed of having such a Godsend…no more wondering, making mistakes, and if you were supposed to suffer, then you would know you were on the right path for that as well. A road map for your life’s path.
But then, really, what fun would that be, having all the answers?
See, God created this thing called, “FREE WILL.” Maybe you’ve heard about it?
YOU get to DECIDE for YOURSELF! Really, its true! Except for my kids, at least till they’re out of my house (haha).
WE have all been given this gift of free will, meaning we create our boundaries and decide how we act and how we react. If we are presented with a challenge, we get to decide how we will handle it. And because everyone reacts differently, based on their own lessons and perspectives, we have many opportunities to grow and learn. Sometimes it may feel like you’ve learned enough though, doesn’t it? Like its time for a break, and only smooth sailing. But if it were that easy, the soul growth would stop, and you really wouldn’t want that to happen, would you?
I witness it day in and day out. People are hit with the most horrible situations, and then something else stressful happens. As if the first issue wasn’t enough! And just when you think there is no light at the end of the tunnel, something shifts. You realize your strength. You learn to ask for help. You overcome a fear. Just by making that one shift, it opens up a whole new, beautiful wave of positive energy. I cannot begin to explain all the miracles I have been blessed and honored to witness through working with clients and through my own personal life as well.
The saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle” is quite true. Even when you think you will break and the sky will fall, things can always change. When you are sinking deeper into depression it is hard to see this, but remember, just by entertaining the idea that things can get better creates an opening for that very situation to occur.
Several years ago, I was working as a computer technician and trainer. I was on my computer 40+ hours a week, and unfortunately not set up in a proper ergonomic fashion so pressure and stress would not be placed on my body. I developed major nerve damage in my neck, arm and shoulder and was written out of work by my doctor. So here I was, in massive amounts of pain, out of work, collecting 45% of my regular salary, having to go to doctors for treatment 3-5 times a week. There were times when I would have 20-40 prolo injections into my spine, neck and shoulder and would be bedridden for days. Just when thought life couldn’t get worse, I found out I was pregnant. I had been told after my second child that I would not be able to get pregnant again. Because of the pregnancy, I could not take certain meds or treatment. Then my husband lost his job. Then I needed surgery, which I did while awake, and was told I would never lift anything over 5 pounds. I was told not to hold my baby when it was born and warned there was a possibility of dropping him because of the weakness in my arm, hand and wrist. Soon after that, during a routine ultrasound, my ob-gyn found a problem with the baby. His kidneys were not developing properly and there was a strong possibility he would need surgery right after his birth.
Can you say, S-T-R-E-S-S ?????
Amid worrying to the point it made me physically ill, I also began to go into premature labor at about six months. All I could think about was, “Why me? Why my baby? Why my body? What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough to just have a normal life?” While relaying my feelings to a dear friend and mentor, she asked me, “Have you been able to find the gift in all this?”
I have to say, that it was a good thing we were talking over the phone. Hormones, pregnancy and frustration do not bring out the best in me.
Gift? Was she serious? I was on bed rest, not able to take care of my kids or myself and stressing over everything! What kind of gift was I going to find in all of that? Her words stuck with me for days after our conversation. I had plenty of free time to think, so I mulled over every possibility I could imagine.
I began to make a list of things I was grateful for. At first, the list was quite short. As the days and weeks went by, the list grew. I had to start small though, with the basics. I first listed things like: house for shelter, food to eat, medical care. Later on, words that flew across the page included: family that loved me, friends that supported me, the spirit of a dear friend who had crossed over. I soon discovered that if I really looked, I found many blessings in my life. As I focused my energies in that direction, a shift of focus took place. I began to become grounded and decided that I would not accept the doctors diagnosis about my son’s kidneys. Instead of worrying about his health, I gave him Reiki treatments several times a day.
Giving Reiki to Adam was like lighting a pipe for a crack addict. He could not get enough of it! And although tests a few days before he was born still showed kidney problems, at two weeks old he was given a clean bill of health without the need for any treatment, well, except for more cuddles from his mommy. Yes, I was even able to lift all 9 pounds and 11 ounces of him.
If I’d had a handbook to consult when all these issues presented, I bet I would not have learned what I did from the experience. I may not have been able to really see the gift in all this at the time, but it is so clear to me now.
If I hadn’t hurt myself at work, I wouldn’t have been staying home.
If I hadn’t have been off work, I wouldn’t have had time to go on a cruise.
If I hadn’t gone on the cruise, I wouldn’t have been relaxed and became pregnant.
If I hadn’t became pregnant, there would be no Adam in my life.
I cannot imagine my life without that little guy. In many ways, Adam healed me, because he helped me to see outside myself. My life took a complete different direction because of him.
The only handbook for this life, is what we write upon its pages. That is the true art of being spiritual; creating ourselves, our experiences in each moment with each breath.
I am reminded of a Lakota Prayer:
Wakan Tanka, Great Mystery,
teach me how to trust
my inner knowing,
the senses of my body,
the blessings of my spirit.
Teach me to trust these things
so that I may enter my Sacred Space
and love beyond my fear,
and thus Walk in Balance
with the passing of each glorious Sun.
According to the Native People, the Sacred Space
is the space between exhalation and inhalation.
To Walk in Balance is to have Heaven (spirituality)
and Earth (physicality) in Harmony.
Remember, if the Creator put it there, it is in the right place. The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.
May you see the many gifts in your life.
Love & Laughter,